Clark Freaks Out – Christmas Vacation
I'm gonna fly you all down here
To help us dedicate it.
I can't swim, clark.
I know that, eddie.
Clark, what's wrong?
It's bigger than you expected?
Well, what is it?
It's a one-year membership
In the jelly of the month club.
Eddie: Clark, that's the gift
That keeps on giving the whole year.
That it is, edward.
That it is, indeed.
If this isn't the biggest bag over the head,
Punch in the face I ever got.
God damn it!
[whispering] that's good. That's good.
If any of you are looking
For any last minute gift ideas for me,
I have one–
I'd like frank shirley, my boss, right here tonight.
I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber
Over there on melody lane with all the other rich people,
And I want him brought right here…
With a big ribbon on his head,
And I want to look him straight in the eye
And tell him what a cheap,
Lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing,
Lowlife, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred,
Overstuffed, ignorant, bloodsucking,
Dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless,
Heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged,
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