Clark Freaks Out – Christmas Vacation

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I'm gonna fly you all down here
To help us dedicate it.
Yay! Yay!
Ooh!
I can't swim, clark.
I know that, eddie.
[sighs]
[sighs]
[clark sighs]
Hey. Ho.
[sighs]
Oh.
Clark, what's wrong?
Honey.
It's bigger than you expected?
Smaller?
Well, what is it?
It's a one-year membership
In the jelly of the month club.
Oh, god.
Eddie: Clark, that's the gift
That keeps on giving the whole year.
That it is, edward.
That it is, indeed.
I'm sorry.
Clark…
If this isn't the biggest bag over the head,
Punch in the face I ever got.
God damn it!
Son.
[whispering] that's good. That's good.
That's good.
Ahh, hey.
If any of you are looking
For any last minute gift ideas for me,
I have one–
I'd like frank shirley, my boss, right here tonight.
I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber
Over there on melody lane with all the other rich people,
And I want him brought right here…
With a big ribbon on his head,
And I want to look him straight in the eye
And tell him what a cheap,
Lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing,
Lowlife, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred,
Overstuffed, ignorant, bloodsucking,
Dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless,
Heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged,

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